Con Artists That Are Bad At Their Job - The Delite

Con Artists That Are Bad At Their Job

A con artist is normally intelligent, charismatic, and has the ability to lie their way into other people’s wallets. They’re not respected, but big enough con artists can become well-known. Then there are the morons. Some people that just can’t seem to get even that first score. These are some dumb con artists that couldn’t seal the deal.

Murder In The House

It’s not too hard to find a house or address on a real estate website. You can probably find yours, even if it’s not for sale. So, someone may come to you at some point asking if you want to sell your house. It’s pretty easy to pick out ones that are scams. This guy came in with a perfect response to make sure they’d never be bothered again.

Remember That One Time In Jail

A lot of scammers may try the “remember me” gambit. Don’t fall for it. There’s a reason you don’t know who they are (and do people even use address books anymore?). Most people would just deny knowing the person. This guy decided to double down on their supposed connection.

Sam Raimi

The original Spider-Man trilogy is a well-regarded and fondly looked upon film franchise. There were plans to have a fourth one made years ago, but they were dropped after Spider-Man 3 was a flop. The idea of Sam Raimi finally making that film would get old Spider-Man fans excited. However, it’s pretty clear that this guy isn’t actually Sam Raimi. He didn’t even spell “Feige” correctly.

You Died

This must be a strange email to get. There are so many reasons as to why people would know you aren’t dead. And even if this was all true, which it clearly isn’t, why would getting an iTunes gift card at “the store” be a part of this. The cherry on top is that the contact is named “MR MIKE PENCE”.

Mature Enough To Give Me Your Bank Info

When it comes to giving out banking info, maturity isn’t really a factor. Or at least, more mature people probably wouldn’t give it to anyone. Fortunately, the person that received this message was already wise to the scam.

Prince Philip’s Funeral

It’s a little odd to be gathering funds for a funeral before he’s even dead. There’s also the fact that the British Royal Family are incredibly rich and shouldn’t need to ask a “commoner” for any funds. At least the target came back with a good joke.

When You See It A Mile Away

With all those things in their bio, it’s not hard to guess that they’re actually a con artist. Of course, that’s if they’re even a person at all. And whoever was messaged by the individual in question seems to share that sentiment.


What’s strange about this one is that they didn’t ask for any money. The obvious thing would be for them to say that if you outbid their contract they’d spare your life. But they went a slightly different route. The most distracting part is that they still claimed to be an assassin in the first place.

Why Tho

The way you get someone to leave you alone: annoy them enough to stop. It even works against bots, scammers, and con artists. Just keep answering “why tho” no matter what.

I Have Pictures

This might be one of the oldest tricks in the book. Whether or not you actually have the photos is irrelevant, it’s the fear that you might that makes people comply. Of course, if they don’t care regardless, there’s nothing you can really do at that point.

The King Of Pop

If Michael Jackson, famous pop star, had his own social media account, he probably wouldn’t need to name the handle “therealmichaeljackson1111”. He also wouldn’t reveal that he’s still alive to a random stranger to ask them for money.

Signed By George Washington

The reason why this car door handle is only bidding for one cent right now is probably because of how fake it is. Clearly this is forged, with the most obvious reason being that cars did not exist in the 18th Century. They didn’t even forge his actual signature, which is written on the US Constitution.

Honesty Is The Best Policy

Sometimes it’s just nice if they’re up front about what they’re doing. It really saves everyone’s time. You don’t get scammed and the scammer can move on to the next mark.

Destiny’s Child

Another situation wherein someone thinks they’ll get some money out of a celebrity’s fan. It’s funny that they decided to pretend to be a member of Destiny’s Child and bring Beyoncé with them instead of just saying that they’re Beyoncé. Seems as though they realized their mistake too. Hence the second message.

Help Me Fix My Problems

This is clearly a bot. Because no human would be that oblivious to the year given. Both the scammer and the replier will probably be dead by 2099.

Just Check The URL

Seriously, if you want to scam someone out of their money, rule number one should be not using a URL that has “scam” in it. You’re just leaving yourself up for failure at that point.

Message In A Bottle

This one’s probably more of a joke or a prank than an actual scam. However, that doesn’t make this situation any less funny.

So What’s Their Name?

The content of this message doesn’t matter. It’s a scam, asking for money or telling you to do something, they’re all like that. What’s funny is the mistake. Which is it? Kuldeep Dileep or Charles Clark?

A Well-Known Fake Photo

Asking for a photo of whoever you’re talking to isn’t necessarily going to prove that they’re real. After all, they can just pull one from the internet. And this is one of the most common fake photos of a woman used online. Fortunately, our mark here still didn’t take the bait.

The Date Scam

How familiar are you with the “date scam”? Someone, likely a bot, texts someone else saying they planned to meet up for drinks, then feigning ignorance when they realize they texted the wrong number. Well, this guy caught on to that immediately. Although, they seem delighted by the potential scam.

Programmed Response

This guy really hit the nail on the head. The fake person thing is so common, but it literally has a pre-programmed response if it sees the word fake. It’s funny to imagine the sentences that could potentially prompt this response.

Congratulations! You Win A Walmart!

Well, presumably they meant a Walmart gift card. Either way, this is one of the most common scam templates there is. Don’t click on the link, you won’t be getting out of it. It’s not even worth it to sate your curiosity.

Subscribe To Random Cat Facts

Someone did a perfect reversal after getting a text from a scammer. Obviously, no one wants to pay $9.99 a month for random cat facts. They’d want them, just wouldn’t want to pay that much for them.

Really Selling It As Lady Gaga

Yeah, this guy’s trying too hard. The quote from “Poker Face” isn’t even correct. It should be “Ra ra ra ah ah”, not “ra ra ah ah ah”. Also, Gaga’s another rich celebrity who wouldn’t want or need to mooch off of her fans.

Commenting On Your Own Giveaway

These kinds of giveaways where all you need to do is post a comment to get money are always too simple and are often lies.  But what really adds insult to injury is that the person that posted this “giveaway” was also the first person to reply to it for the money.